My Near Death Experience At The Cosmetologist

I ventured out to the local cosmetologist for a much needed haircut. I was starting to resemble my Viking forbears after several weeks of government mandated lock down. And I had a slight urge to pillage that was a little disconcerting.

The salon door was covered with warning signs. I knew, just beyond this portal pure evil awaited. It was a pestilence so deadly, so evil, with huge nasty teeth, that I was likely to die before my last hair was snipped. True fear gripped me. I was alone, no shield wall to hide behind and no other warriors to share the honor of a glorious victory, or a good death.

I girded up my loins, and with my trusty battle ax, I shoved the door aside. There were no guests waiting for their appointment with death, so I was immediately approached by a petite Asian woman, covered head-to-toe in protective gear. Between the scrubs, gloves, mask, acrylic face shield, not a spot on the young lady was unprotected. Was I getting a hair cut, or major surgery?

Through broken English I understood that I too, must cover my face. I pulled my trusty mask out, bowed slightly, held it to my face, and said, "Hai" - not knowing if she understood Japanese or not.

I was led to the place of my execution. An uncomfortable apparatus designed to make your last moments on Earth as unpleasant as possible. I was four inches too tall, and likely 50 pounds too heavy for the chair, so I had to slump a wee bit so she could reach the crown of my head. She wrapped a black frock around my body, supposedly to catch any falling hair. This was topped by the kerchief of death, which was easily and inch or two too small.

A snip here, a buzz there, and it was finished. Like Samson, I felt my strength slip away - or that might have been the higher concentration of CO2 in my bloodstream as the result of my mask. I stood up and stumbled over to the counter where I was forced to pay for the encounter. And just like that, it was done. I was free. And more importantly, I was still alive.

OMG! 9-1-1 Lone Star is back for a 2nd Season.

Fox Renews ‘9-1-1’ for Season 4 and Spinoff ‘9-1-1: Lone Star’ for Season 2

911LS is the totally plausible story of Austin (TX) Fire Department leadership, decimated by disaster, visiting NYC - because everyone knows they are wicked smart up there, and diverse, to hire a new chief. And just so everyone is clear, its not to make Austin FD the very best in the country, but the most diverse. Because naturally, diversity trumps quality.

Owen Strand, played by the aging hunk, Rob Lowe, is a proven firefighter who helped rebuild FDNY after 9/11. His experience post tragedy should be sufficient, but the Austin rep wants to shock those Austin rednecks into the 21st century with the wokest FD on the planet. If that weren't enough pressure, his fabulously out and proud son is also a firefighter, an opioid addict, and attempts suicide after being rejected by another out and proud man in the very first episode. But even with all that, the sadistic screenwriters infect Strand with early stage lung cancer, fallout from 9/11 - AND a rapidly receding hair line - I'm not joking.

To help resolve all of those issues, father and son move to Austin, Texas, to show us hayseeds just how to hold our hoses.

The hiring montage takes us on a nationwide quest to find the wokest firefighters in the country.

Natacha Karam as Marjan Marwani, the misunderstood female Muslim, who plays by her own rules.
Brian Michael Smith as Paul Strickland, a trans man who wants to be free to live as he/she desires, and as a diversity bonus, he is an African American with wicked threat assessment skills.
Julian Works as Mateo Chavez, the severely dyslexic kid who must keep his job or be deported.
Jim Parrack, of True Blood fame, as the sole survivor of the explosion that killed the former team. He suffers from PTSD, and although married to an African American dispatcher, he is the obligatory red neck/racist of the bunch.

A few other surprises...
Liv Tyler, sheds her Elvish immortality, to play EMS captain Michelle Blake, and a possible love interest of Rob Lowe.
The lovely Lyndsy Fonseca as Iris Blake: Michelle's missing sister. - I never saw her, as I did not make it through the season.

One of their first calls is to settle a dispute between neighbors, a family cooking Barbacoa in their backyard, and an elderly woman who plays the evil racist. When she feigns a heart attack, her racism/worldview prevents any of the crew from rendering mouth-to-mouth. All this is done to prove what a backwater state Texas is, and that if it weren't for the outreach of Hollywood, exposing and enlightening us, can we ever march forward into the Utopia that awaits..

Its somewhat comical that this show would be based in Austin, the most progressive city in Texas. But I still take offense to everything about the show. This is an attack on Texas, Christians, and Conservatism. And, I am simply tired of the same narrative coming forth from the national media in both NYC/LA. I lived in NJ for a year, and have traveled often for business and pleasure to both cities. I have found that racism exists just as much in the studios of LA, as they do in the NYC office buildings. The tension, and even violence exists on the street wherever cultures or economic differences clash.

I find it humorous that Hollywood still thinks that Texans are automatically homophobic. And that if it weren't for the wisdom of actors and producers, we would never know who they are, and how racist/homophobic we really are. My very first agency job, I had a homosexual boss. My second job, I had a lesbian boss. We worked together just fine. As a Christian, I'm called to love. God will ultimately do the judging. I have no hate in my heart for anyone lost in sin. Quite the contrary, like God, I want all folks saved, so they may enjoy His love. (1 Timothy 2:1-4)

Not everyone is a Christian, or thinks like me. However, I betcha Texans are far more tolerant of social deviation than most places. We love LIBERTY. As long as you aren't attempting to harm us, Texans will stay out of your business. Not all states and metro areas can say that.


What Austin firefighters thought of the show. 

Just How Texan Is Fox’s ‘9-1-1: Lone Star’?

‘9-1-1: Lone Star’ Is What An Idiot From NYC Thinks Of Austin Without Ever Visiting