Monday, March 28, 2016

Ted Cruz - The Ultimate Ladies Man

In order for this National Enquirer story about Ted Cruz to have legs, there must be a significant suspension of disbelief. Observe.

1. Ted has lived in DC over 3 years now. Everyone claims that nobody likes Ted. It is said that he is the most hated man in Washington. He was surrounded by colleagues who would do anything to undermine him. DC is full of hostile media always digging for dirt, especially on Conservative politicians. AND the current administration has almost infinite surveillance capabilities, and a knack for destroying their political enemies. With ALL that against him, there was not a single shred of evidence uncovered UNTIL Ted became a serious threat, and then, as if by magic, it just so happened Trump's longtime friend at the National Enquirer gets the scoop?

2. Pundits and bloggers have written that Ted is a geek and ugly. He has been unfavorably compared to Grandpa from the Munsters. So the NE story claims this "nerdy" and "unattractive" man gets to Washington and becomes the ultimate ladies man? I know his hands are much larger than Trump's freakishly small hands, but is that really enough to make the women come running to Ted?

3. How many women on this planet would be sexually aroused by someone who memorizes the Constitution?

Obligatory Music Break - Featuring Finnish Pop Star Jenni Vartiainen, and her song Nettin, about being maliciously exposed to the public on the Internet.

4. People in Congress are always surrounded by aides, constituents, media, strategists, lobbyists, security, and a host of other people who come and go in DC. Is it possible that a Congress Critter could have an affair - absolutely. Is it possible for a Conservative Senator from Texas, who is hated by EVERYONE, to carry out 5 in three years without ANYONE in the mainstream press or either party EVER discovering and disclosing it?  In this day and age, its highly doubtful. Even an editor from the left-leaning Texas Monthly is incredulous.

5. Note that it was not just one affair reported, but 5. Why 5? Why not 11, or 27? If you are going to lie, why not go full Trump whopper? This is classic sleazeball progressive politics, combined with reality TV-inspired flair by Donald Trump. Remember - its the seriousness of the charge that counts, not the truth. Trump just needs to introduce a little bit of doubt into the minds of voters about Cruz. The average voter might doubt a story about 1 or 2 mistresses, but what if there are 5? Some of THAT story just might be true. Hey, and that's more mistresses than the media has reported from Trump's recent past. As Dan Rather would have you believe, even if the evidence is forged, the story must be true since it fits the narrative. Or more succinctly, its fake, but accurate. Even Rather's dissonance about forged documents and the truth is not at all applicable with this ridiculous piece of tripe.

6. Here was part of Donald Trump's response to the story. 

"I have no idea whether or not the cover story about Ted Cruz in this week’s issue of the National Enquirer is true or not..." 

Of course he knows its not true. Look at how he qualifies EXACTLY where and when you find this story, which according to him, may or may not be true. Stay classy Donald.

Trump continues to exhibit a sadistic personality disorder. Though I am not aware if it has been professionally diagnosed, I surely hope he seeks immediate treatment.

See how easy it is to Tweet passive aggressive statements like Trump? And just to be perfectly clear, the above statement is completely fictitious... as far as you know.

The Oompa Loompa continues...

“Ted Cruz’s problem with the National Enquirer is his and his alone, and while they were right about O.J. Simpson, John Edwards, and many others, I certainly hope they are not right about Lyin’ Ted Cruz.”

That certainly sounds a lot like the words of someone who played a part in the proliferation of this hit piece. And why not, the supermarket tabloid endorsed Donald Trump for President. It has continually rushed to his aid at just the perfect moment, taking out Carson and Fiorina when they threatened him in the polls. Notice again the qualifiers above attempting to inflate the integrity of the tabloid. NE might be the best of the supermarket rags, but its still at the absolute bottom of the media food chain, just slightly above Globe and Weekly World News. And that alone should be enough to discredit and dismiss this story.

Trump should call is good friend at the Enquirer and demand a stop to these muckraking shenanigans. Somehow, I doubt that will happen.

Oompa Loompa doompadee doo
I've got another puzzle for you
Oompa Loompa doompadah dee
If you are wise you'll listen to me

What do you get from a glut of TV?
A Trump in the race and an IQ of three


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