"I am for a government rigorously frugal and simple. Were we directed from Washington when to sow, when to reap, we should soon want bread." -- Thomas Jefferson
It was announced recently that the Theology Faculty at the University of Helsinki is conferring honorary doctorates on 8 individuals, including the Climate Princess herself, Greta Thunberg. In her amazing 20 years, she has accomplished so much, like skipping school to make folks aware that the Sun sometimes makes the Earth warm, and sometimes not so warm. And she has read speeches at the UN, very angrily, denouncing modern civilization, and vowing never to forgive those who don't take her chicken little warnings seriously. Those actions were so impressive, the theology faculty at the ivy-covered walls of Helsinki U, thought she deserved an honorary doctorate. Truly, any serious theologian should be concerned with the rantings of an unhinged, teenage climate agitator.
Previously, U of H doctoral candidates specialized in areas like, Biblical studies, church history, internationally or in the North-European and Finnish contexts, or the study of religions and religiosity outside the Christian traditions. Other areas of study included systematic theology, social ethics, ecumenical theology, and the philosophy of religion. I'm not quite sure where global warming agitation fits in, but I am glad the door is open for me and other deserving folks. That is truly outside the box thinking.
I thought honorary doctorates, especially in theology, were reserved for those folks who had lived long and productive lives, often in academia, but not always, accomplishing great things for both God and man. But now that the standard has been reimagined by the fine folks in Helsinki, it seems appropriate to suggest they consider me for such an honor, and closely review my credentials. Since honorary doctorates are now dispersed like candy, I want my chocolate bar!
A Little Bit About A Big Man In A Small Country
The Finnish people are entertaining and fun to be around. The blonde hair, blue eyes, sharp features and wit - made me feel right at home in Finland. At 6'5" I tower over most Finns, but share their Nordic appearance. Its no surprise I was once nicknamed "Viking King" during my college days. But they were not scared, nor did they run away. Instead, they were simply curious about the gentle giant from Texas in their presence, and wanted to know more. They might have crowned me King of Finland, but fortunately, Finland has no monarchy. If I wasn't a Believer, who strongly embraces Individual Liberty, I would be a perfect Finn!
I especially enjoyed their ability to draw out any meeting for hours, attempting to build consensus. I once worked for a Finnish company, and visited Helsinki and Tampere during my employment. There were four trips in all to Finland, one for each season - Winter 1, Spring, Fall, and Winter 2. And if you are flying that far away from Dallas, Texas, you stay for a time. That's possibly more time in Finland than Greta, although she did grow up next door in Sweden.
Finland is gorgeous. Tampere reminded me of Minnesota, with all the lakes formed by glaciers that receded long before man had any industrial output. Helsinki, especially when it was warm enough to be outside, was spectacular. Very pretty city, and was quite clean for a major metropolitan area.
They were comfortable fighting with or against the Nazis, just as they were with or against the Communists. And they are pretty fierce winter warriors. The food needs a little work, but I understand the limitations of being so near the Arctic Circle may impact variety. But I must admit, where would we be without Saunas and mobile phones?
Finland is a small country, about half the size of Texas. But they do punch above their class. Finnish is a most unusual language, funny to look at on paper, but quite pleasant to the ear. Yet there are only 5 million Finnish speakers globally. The majority of folks also speak Swedish, English, and/or Russian. Finnish is one of those languages that will likely fade away in a few more generations, as the world is shrinking every day. To have almost any impact outside of the country, you must be proficient in another language, usually one of the three above or Chinese, German, or French.
Making My Case
I feel silly, like Paul pleading his Hebrew bona fides in Philippians 3. Yet, if U of H is serious about handing out honorary doctorates to just about anybody, why not me? Here are a handful of reasons why I should be considered for a University of Helsinki Honorary Doctorate in Theology. I know its hard to match Greta's many accomplishments, but I do what I can.
#1 - As a Product Manager for Pro Set trading card company, I volunteered to assemble a trading card product for the coming Gulf War (first one). My only conditions were that it had to be educational, presenting all nations involved, including the belligerents, fairly. I wanted complete control over the product's design, creation and manufacturing - I ended up with about 70% control. And the final product had to be a quality product that we would be proud to share with our kids, and grandkids. The Desert Storm trading card set had 250 cards, including every country involved, key leaders, and many of the deployed weapons. We had assistance from the US Military, and consulates from all over the world, including the Iraqi Embassy, who provided a lovely shot of Saddam Hussein.
It became clear that the conflict would be over quite quickly. This led to the entire team of writers, editors, and computer artists literally working around the clock to finish the product and send it to the printer. For several days, I did not leave the office, and ended up writing a few card backs just to get the product complete. It was the fastest we had ever taken a product from concept to printer - just over one week. There were a couple of weeks of preplanning, which included traveling to DC to gather images from the military, and send requests to embassies and consulates for pictures and information - it was the 90s, so Internet and the digital age was not quite on our side.
The product was well received by many, including a "Best Desert Storm Set" award from Non-Sport Update - a magazine which tracked trading card products that did not feature athletes. You might be wondering if that is such a big deal. Well, at least 9 companies released sets, including Topps, who put out 3 different batches: Series 1-3. So, yes, there was some competition - if you can call it that.
But here is the point. The ONLY set that had a card on Finland (#17), and their contribution to the war effort, was Pro Set. And at the time, I knew very little about Suomi. Imagine, a product manager for a trading card company in Dallas, Texas USA, cared enough to include your country in our product. That's worth something, right?
#2 - In 2022, I published a Christian study journal, My Sheep Hear Me: Tuning In The Voice Of Jesus. Its available to over 200 million Amazon Prime subscribers worldwide. The 8-week study is designed to help Christians recognize the leading of their Heavenly Father, and be sensitive to His voice.
#3 - My love of the Bible started at a very young age. My parents purchased me an illustrated children's Bible, written in a comic format. I literally read it until it fell apart. Then, the church presented each child with a copy of the Revised Standard Version, and that became my regular companion. I served as an acolyte, and while my Mother was employed by the church, I cleaned the sanctuary and filled the pews with supplies - envelopes, cards, and sharpened pencils. Its sounds trivial, but very necessary for services.
In college, I studied New Testament, communications, history, eventually earning a BA in Advertising Management. After college, I was a part time teacher for a singles class, giving two memorable lessons called: Its A Wonderful Life and Elijah & Elisha: Tag Team For God. I also found time to coach a boy's church basketball team all the way to the championship.
I could have skipped school and protested the weather. But instead, I did things to improve myself, and the world around me.
#4 - I launched a blog and several web sites starting in 2001. They include: Matney Woodard Entertainment, King's Kid Stuff, Harrison Woodard - a personal blog, and this site. My sites include Christian Children's stories, Biblical stories, sermons, and Christian commentary for all ages. Between all sites, there are over 200 pages of Christian content. Visitors from every "inhabited" continent have viewed more than a 1.5 million pages. So where is my academic LOVE?
#5 - As continuing homage to all things Finland, several of my children's stories feature Finnish names. Hanna's Parade - about the donkey who carried Jesus on Palm Sunday. Kirsi, The Little Lost Lamb - about the shepherds who were at the Nativity. Duarte, The Good Shepherd - about a llama who protects a little lamb named Taru.
#6 - In college, I worked as a stringer, gathering court filings in a major lawsuit filed by the families who lost loved ones in a Delta Airline crash at DFW Airport. I was employed by one of the top newspapers in the state, while also contributing to the college newspaper. Why is this relevant? Why are staged arrests of Greta newsworthy?
#7 - When not working on Desert Storm. I was the Hockey Product Manager at Pro Set. This is a very popular sport in Finland, and many of their players now make their way to the NHL. When I took the position, I knew nothing about hockey - I lived in Texas. But learned the sport, and launched three hockey products, one card/confection product, and created Rink Rat, our hockey mascot. One of my favorite memories was being in Toronto for an NHL event. I spotted kids at the entrance of the hotel joyfully opening our packs and trading the cards. Has Greta ever created a product that brought joy to the lives of children? Or has she been content to just fill them with fear and anxiety about an issue that is beyond their capability to solve?
#8 - One of my favorite stories was an homage to a Finnish coworker, who I thought was gorgeous. Heli, The Star Of Bethlehem was named for her. This is the backstory of how God selected which star would shine above the Nativity, and lead the wise men to Jesus.
#9 - Not only do I have a presence online, but my work has been enjoyed all over the world. Christian radio ministries in the Caribbean have read my stories on air. A Middle Eastern country published The Three Camels, in Arabic. An Indian firm used my story, The Carpenter And The Little End Table, in their English reader. Spreading the LOVE of God globally, not fear.
#10 - No story has impacted the world more than Heaven's Art Gallery. It has received much praise, as it makes you question the value of your life through God's eyes. God has a plan for every Believer, His perfect will. But too many folks get redirected and sent down the wrong path - their life never to admired in Heaven's Art Gallery.
#11 - Maybe I should mention I write Christian children's songs. Including the Palm Sunday Song, which will likely be performed by kids in churches around the world this weekend.
#12 - And no Christian site would be complete without some Christian poems. One of the most popular, Stand Firm, is a call to stay strong even in the face of adversity.
So much more I could mention. So many times I have volunteered with churches and charities, supported ministries, and helped strangers. I've taken on some really odd jobs, like the Summer I salvaged the possessions from house floods and fires for restoration. A truly disgusting, and yet very sad job.
Well, that's my case. My accomplishments up against hers. Who has done more for God and man? I will send an official note to the appropriate folks in Finland asking for their consideration. Hopefully, the decision will come quickly.
I expect at least a courtesy email from the UH Theology department. Even a thanks, but no thanks note would certainly be appreciated.
For decades, the global warming movement has been rightly accused as being not much more than a religion for many folks. Points are rarely made unless they include an obligatory "I believe" to their claim. Hundreds of prophesied climate disasters fail to materialize - which is a sure sign of a false religion, with a lying priesthood and hypocritical layfolk.
But now, we have yet more evidence that climate change (or if you prefer - global warming - they are the same), is in fact, truly a religion. The University of Helsinki's Faculty of Theology has announced its Honorary Doctorates for 2023. Let's define some terms, just so we are all on the same page.
Theology - the study of the nature of God and religious belief.
Religion - a particular system of faith and worship (Contrast with Christianity - which is a personal relationship with a Living Lord and Savior).
Honorary Doctorate - a degree given by a college or university to someone who is not a student, but who has done something important.
Among the fine folk nominated by this presumably reputable place of higher learning, are the following, with a very brief description of their noteworthy contribution to the world.
Riho Altnurme is Professor of Church History at the University of Tartu. He is the leading expert in Estonian church history and has produced a wide range of scholarly publications on issues such as Soviet religious policy in Estonia and the history of theological education in the country. He has collaborated with Finnish church historians for over 25 years.
Annabel Brett is Professor of Political Thought and History at the University of Cambridge. Her extensive publications focus on mediaeval and early modern moral and political thought, with an emphasis on the natural law tradition, Aristotelianism and scholastic philosophy, as well as, in recent years, the history of international law. Professor Brett was a member (2008–2013) of the scientific advisory board of the Centre of Excellence in Philosophical Psychology, Morality, and Politics (PMP) funded by the Academy of Finland and headed by Simo Knuuttila.
Grace Davie is Professor Emerita at the University of Exeter. She has served as a visiting professor at, for example, the University of Helsinki’s Helsinki Collegium for Advanced Studies and Uppsala University. Authoring a number of works on the sociology of religion that have become classics, Davie has created new concepts in the field. In her career, she has significantly strengthened the theme of religion in the social sciences as well as the approaches of the social sciences and political studies in theological research.
Philip Esler, Professor of New Testament Studies at the University of Gloucestershire, is a pioneer in the social-scientific study of the Bible. He has opened up a number of new approaches to the study of early Jewish and Christian texts through sociological, anthropological and socio-psychological perspectives. He has also explored New Testament theology and the Bible’s relationship to visual arts. Esler has collaborated closely with scholars from the University of Helsinki in joint researcher networks and as a member of support groups for research projects.
Maria Immonen has had a long career in international aid in countries including Finland, Tanzania and Switzerland. She is currently Director of the Department for World Service at the Communion Office of the Lutheran World Federation, the first woman to hold the role. She leads the federation’s extensive humanitarian and development work, focused on the most vulnerable and on global responsibility. Immonen is an alum of the University of Helsinki Faculty of Arts.
Mia Lövheim is Professor of the Sociology of Religion at Uppsala University. She specialises in religious, media and social change, particularly from the perspective of gender and youth issues. She is a founding member of the Nordic Network on Religion, Media and Populism and the International Society for Media, Religion and Culture as well as the honorary chair of the latter. She has collaborated actively for years with University of Helsinki researchers involved in the study of religion and media and communication studies. During the 2023 autumn term, she will work at the Helsinki Collegium for Advanced Studies.
Munib Younan has for decades been the public voice of Middle Eastern and especially Palestinian Christians. In his work as President of the Lutheran World Federation, he has played a globally significant role as a Christian leader and theological policymaker. His approach emphasises the positive role of religion as a factor encouraging public engagement. Younan completed his master’s degree at the University of Helsinki and throughout his career has fostered close relationships with Finnish partners.
AND
Greta Thunberg is a Swedish opinion-maker and activist. The School Strike for Climate she staged outside the Swedish parliament building in autumn 2018 soon expanded into the global Fridays for Future movement, in which schoolchildren urge decision-makers to take climate action based on scientific evidence. The value of her uncompromising and consistent work for the future of our planet has been recognised with several major awards and prizes. Her actions have obliged all of us with the task, as members of communities and societies, but above all as human beings, of making changes to our everyday lives.
Do you remember the Sesame Street song - One Of These Things (Is Not Like The Others)? It goes something like this - "One of these things is not like the others, One of these things doesn't belong, Can you tell which thing is not like the others, By the time I finish my song?"
Can you tell which one of the honorees just doesn't belong?
As a Christian, I have to chuckle a bit at the recipients, as I doubt many of these will ever lead someone to Christ. But at least some are nominally Christians, connected to the Lutheran denomination. So there is hope that God can use them for something. I can pray for their Salvation, so they can be placed in the Body of Christ as it pleases the Father. I keep reminding myself, this is THEOLOGY. The study OF God, not necessarily a relationship WITH Him.
Then, there is wee Greta. How vast is the difference between her academic background and life achievements, and the rest. She is a school drop out, and an itinerant agitator. Her work encourages kids to skip school and pester adults about topics that not even scientists completely understand, or can even find common ground. And have the exalted faculty at the ivy-covered walls of Helsinki U ever listened to the teen ne'er-do-well speak? This is from the transcript of her infamous UN rant, along with my comments,
"My message is that we'll be watching you."
Who is this we? Climate fanatics? Truant children? Should the world be afraid of tiny global warming fanatics coming at us because we prefer to get to places as efficiently and cheaply as possible? What is this delusion that she thinks the world cares what some brainwashed teen thinks? People wonder how the tyrants in history came to be. Look no further than this little tyrant in training, Dr. Greta.
"This is all wrong. I shouldn't be up here. I should be back in school on the other side of the ocean. Yet you all come to us young people for hope. How dare you!"
You bet its wrong. She (at this time) was 16. She SHOULD be in school - a real one that actually educates. Who is going to young people for hope? And why is she so angry? Nobody asked her to be a climate martyr. Where are her parents? Why are they allowing her delusions to fester?
"You have stolen my dreams and my childhood with your empty words. And yet I'm one of the lucky ones. People are suffering. People are dying. Entire ecosystems are collapsing. We are in the beginning of a mass extinction, and all you can talk about is money and fairy tales of eternal economic growth. How dare you!"
Who stole her dreams? Most likely her nutty parents, and the handlers and groomers they forced on the impressionable young girl. Who is suffering and dying? Man's humanity to man is a big reason people might be dying. Certainly not climate. And its the ideology that Greta embraces, big government tyranny, and loss of individual Liberty, that has historically murdered the most people. There has been an estimated 262 million victims of democide in the last century. That by far surpasses war and ALL weather events in body count by multiple times. And yet Greta demands even bigger government, or possibly one government for all? Let the elevator reach the top floor doctor!
If you want anything done young lady, you are going to need MONEY. Even the supposed solution to this climate insanity is a major transfer of wealth from rich nations to poor. And of course higher taxes, more regulations, and less freedom for all, while our benevolent dictators fill their Swiss accounts with our wealth. Sounds downright peachy, don't you think? Its funny, for EVERY crisis, the solution is always the same.
I feel sad for the girl. Her parents royally screwed up her childhood. She truly believes she has the whole world on her shoulders. That's too much pressure for any young'un. But then again, her delusions fit perfectly with the granola crowd at the UN, which is nothing but a bunch of fruits, flakes, and nuts.
"You are failing us. But the young people are starting to understand your betrayal. The eyes of all future generations are upon you. And if you choose to fail us, I say: We will never forgive you."
"We will not let you get away with this. Right here, right now is where we draw the line. The world is waking up. And change is coming, whether you like it or not."
These are the last two paragraphs of this twaddle. Whoever penned her rant tried their best to add some scientific muscle to it, but failed. If we are all to die because of 1.5 degree Celsius increase, there is no hope for man. But anyone with a brain knows that is rubbish. The Earth has been far hotter, and far colder throughout its time. Mankind has adapted throughout history to significant changes in climate - its a historical fact, or if you are Algore - an inconvenient TRUTH.
The Medieval Warm Period (roughly 1000-1300) was a time when Europe saw higher crop yields, and Vikings settled a place called Greenland, which was much greener than it is today. And there was also a period of time called the Little Ice Age (roughly 1500-1850), when the Greenland Viking colony collapsed, glaciers spread, crops failed etc. The point being, just within recorded history there have been SIGNIFICANT climate change events that had nothing to do with the actions of men. Common sense should tell you this. But when you are an uneducated teen, pretending to be an expert in climatology, its like the ceiling - over your head.
One only has to look up in the sky and see the primary reason why this planet warms up and cools down. Its called the Sun. And unless you can create a dimmer switch for it, there is literally NOTHING you can do to influence its behavior.
In closing, look at her language - "We will never forgive you." Its not class warfare, but worse. Its dividing families, turning children against adults, kids against their very own parents. Imagine suburban parents both working 40+ hours a week to keep the lights on and food on the table. Their little Nazis come home, radicalized by protests at school, demanding that the parents do more to "save the planet!" That is not a recipe for a healthy family. Educators pulled that crap on me in the 70s, telling us that we had to flee to Mexico to avoid the coming ice age. Thank God for a Spirit-filled Mother who knew the Word. We sat down and she ended all my fears concerning the Earth. But it sure made me angry that a teacher would lie to me. Still bothers me today. Its why I get so passionate on this issue!
There's that word - change. Its every radical's favorite word. But they never answer this - change to what? Here is a paraphrase of one of my favorite Obama speeches. He loved change. Just imagine a few fainting coeds in the audience.
"I'm not talking about loose change. I'm not talking about spare change, or change from the vending machine. I'm for real change not a change of address. Feelings change, seasons change, time changes, so we must change. You change your tires, you change your brakes, you even change your socks and underwear. But that's not the change I'm talking about. Regime change, social change, changing hearts and minds. That's the change I'm talking about. Who's up for change?"
One might wonder, what does global warming agitation have to do with theology? There may be a connection, since everything about the global warming scam is predicated on believing without question what the media and scientists tell you. These same individuals are funded by folks who demand that they report the most catastrophic outcomes possible, based on unreliable models built by humans, with manipulated data. And if you dare object, question, or present alternative facts, you are immediately labeled a heretic, or the more fashionable title, climate denier, and canceled from social media, and shunned by woke folks. Sounds familiar, right?
As "theologians" you would think some of these people might know the Creator. It just might be possible that God knew precisely what man would do, and planned accordingly. He provided all the elements a modern society needs. His Earth provides energy in a plethora of plentiful ways - oil, gas, coal, water, and on and on. His creation, trees, plants, and oceans absorb CO2 and release Oxygen in its place. How cool is that? And He told the sea, “You may come this far, but no farther; your proud waves stop here” (Job 38:11 HCSB)
21 Hear now this, O foolish people without understanding or heart, who have eyes and see not, who have ears and hear not:
22 Do you not fear and reverence Me? says the Lord. Do you not tremble before Me? I placed the sand for the boundary of the sea, a perpetual barrier beyond which it cannot pass and by an everlasting ordinance beyond which it cannot go? And though the waves of the sea toss and shake themselves, yet they cannot prevail [against the feeble grains of sand which God has ordained by nature to be sufficient for His purpose]; though [the billows] roar, yet they cannot pass over that [barrier]. [Is not such a God to be reverently feared and worshiped?]
23 But these people have hearts that draw back from God and wills that rebel against Him; they have revolted and quit His service and have gone away [into idolatry]. Jeremiah 5:21–23 AMP
It is idolatry, to worship the Earth and ignore its Creator. And you have to be pretty darn arrogant to think that mankind, occupying less than 10% of the Earth's surface, and far less than that in any appreciable density, is somehow able to exert more power and more influence than forces like the Sun, gravity, Milankovitch cycles, magnetic field, volcanoes, oceans/currents, and on and on. If only God had provided a way to convert carbon dioxide into oxygen!
She's a regular rock star. I wonder how many of these students were either taken to the event by a teacher, or given extra credit by their school for attending. I can't imagine even Finnish children giving up their personal time to hear the crazy teen agitator from Sweden. Unless they want Fridays off to "protest" against the Sun.
At the end of the day, I suppose all we can do is pity Greta. Her parents created this monster, and now they will have to live with it. Although I suppose their income and quality of life has dramatically changed since she has taken on her climate quest.
But I imagine a simpler life for Greta. Where the family sits down for dinner, and she shares how she painted a picture at school. And then in science class, she learned all about photosynthesis - and was amazed at how wonderfully complex God made our world. After they eat, the family would gather for a fun game of King Oil. Where she would learn to enjoy the hunt for oil and big profits. What a lovely dream.
I suppose since she was awarded the Honorary Doctorate, a gift might be appropriate. It should be mandated that every climate agitator presented with an Honorary Doctorate in Theology gets their very own King Oil board game. Then, they can learn to love oil, and leave civilization to folks who actually accomplish things.
I get no pleasure in the ridicule of a child - although she is 20 now. That is why the left grooms kids to be agitators from an early age. They imagine adults will be less likely to counter the crazy claims of a child. But the stakes are too high when it comes to the global warming scam. If they succeed at claiming CO2 is poison - a gas that is essential for life on this planet, they literally can control everything anyone does on Earth. And that is the goal - absolute control. Scare enough people so they will not resist higher taxes, less freedom, and bigger government. And before long, we are just peasants to a handful of benevolent overlords. The money will flow freely into the hands of the elite, and not make one degree of difference in the global climate, or lift a single person out of poverty. Truly demonic in every way.
Useful idiots like Greta are great at spreading the message in what seems a harmless way. And once enough people stop resisting, its always the useful idiots that are quickly and quietly liquidated. Some learn from history. Others just make the same mistakes.
Final Thought - Greta also published a book!
I think for my next blog, I will list my accomplishments, and make my case for deserving one of those doctorates. If Helsinki U is handing out Doctorates in Theology like candy, I want in on it. Call Me DOCTOR. Watch for that this week!
